The Path of Masculine Discipleship-- 
(The hard truth the Modern Man of God really doesn't want to know.) 
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            TRY SOMETHING
                 - - - FAIL - - - 
      GET UP AND TRY AGAIN
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When I was in my late 40s, I had succeeded and then FAILED at so many ministries, I actually had some well-meaning inner-healing ministers try to cast the "success/failure cycle" out of me! At the time I thought that might be a good idea. I look at things quite differently now . . . 

THE PATH LINED 
WITH THE MOST TEARS 
LEADS TO THE 
HIGHEST PLANE 
OF DISCIPLESHIP. 
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The way of the world is the very opposite of this, confusing many choice young men. The way of the world is: ACHIEVE AS MUCH SUCCESS AS YOU CAN, AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN. 

Those to whom "success" comes easy & early are in the greatest danger of settling for the lowest planes. 

Those enjoying early success like to trumpet to others how they achieved it. 

Leave them to their path. 

That is not the path for you, Choice Man of God. 
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All of your Masculine virtues: courage, fortitude, strength, determination, hope, perseverance, problem solving, resilience . . . Will be tested to the uttermost. 

WITH EVERY 
FALLING-AND-RISING 
YOU ACHIEVE 
HIGHER PLANES 
OF DISCIPLESHIP . . . 
IF YOU CONTINUE  
WITH FAITH AND HUMILITY. 

And the Lord will not waste His most hard-bought assets. 
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Do not despise the zeal you had in your youth. That was an important part of your journey-- it got you started. Without that zeal, you would never have crashed head-long into your first failure. Undaunted, you got up and kept going. You felt sure your recent crash was an anomaly. Surely it wouldn't happen again! You glanced over at your successful peers. They seemed to be advancing quite swimmingly. 

So you plunged manfully onward. 

You know the rest of this tale. 

The true cost of Discipleship is much higher than the youthful pilgrim knows. It is a secret the Lord hides for good reason. 

"Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?” Jesus asked two zealous young pilgrims. 

“We can!” they boasted. 

Imagine how Jesus' heart must have quavered as he said, “You will, indeed, drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, but the glory you imagine for yourselves is not mine to give."
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IS IT WORTH IT? 
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Hebrews 12:11 puts it so bluntly:
"For the moment, all discipline seems not to be pleasant, but painful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterward it yields the PEACEFUL FRUIT OF RIGHTEOUSNESS." 

Your whole life you have run into individuals who seem to possess this "peaceful fruit of righteousness". They seem to reside on one of the higher planes of Discipleship. They are not the flashy ones, they are the deep ones; the ones who lift your soul by their mere presence, not dazzle you by their achievements. The older you get, the more deeply you sense the difference.

King David put it this way, "As for the saints who are on the earth, They are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.” (Psalm 16:3) 

As a young pilgrim, it is easy to get confused. It seems the ones with the most gifts or skills or dynamic personalities seem to achieve the most success. And the organized church often misses this. The ways of the world are not the ways of the Lord. And the ways of the world have a way of seeping into the institutional church. 

The path of true masculine discipleship-- TRY SOMETHING-- FAIL-- GET UP AND TRY AGAIN-- is worth it. You know it when you run into one of these "saints who are on the earth" . . . The "excellent ones, in whom is all my delight." 

And you know it when you hear that inner voice that says, "Well done, My good and faithful servant." (You do not have to wait until you die to hear this!) 

You are doing much better than you thought. It is possible you were not quite clear what the Path of Masculine Discipleship looked like. 

A quote from Churchill might be in order: "Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm." 

Be encouraged, bruised man. You are doing very well.